yes?? now what??
whole 19 years of nothing??!!!
such a life!
now i'm 19,, well 19y, 4d and some hours exactly,, when i look into my life, i just see nothing..
over all this time time,, i've achieved zero of all that i dreamed of,, woooow,, sounds funny,, but in fact it's not funny at all,, it's really miserable,, can u believe this?
can u imagine someone spends the first 19 years of his life in nothing at all??
i'm really confused,, like a drunken drunk,, thinkin' y i made my life like this and wounderin' y i should live all this misery,, well after not-too-much thinking i realised that everything i suffer from is caused by.. me,,
yeah,, i do believe that we make our choices and we live exactly as we want to do,, i know this sounds crazy 'cause it's not logical that someone wants to lead a miserable life and it's true,, ah! there's no contrast here,, it doesn't work the way u think in fact,, it's just like when we make our choices we do agree to the kind of life we should live,,
ok,, so back to me,, now,, after whole 19 years, 4 days and some hours i feel really depressed,, 'cause it only takes a small look at my life to realise the mess and failue i cuased to me,, i failed in almost everything i tried to do,, study, chess, friends, the family life and even the playstation(II and one,, haven't yet tried III :D),, this is really disappointing to find urself with zero achievements,, but it's my life,,
when i remember the past and the days that i used to be a fool clever student(as my dignified teatures claimed),,i just wounder why i am here if i am that claimed to be clever,, now i study in a stupid fuckulty that carries the name of the most stupid university u can imagine,, and i'm not even successful in it,, the first year i just passed with low grades of B- and this year i got almost straight F for the first semester(201),, so where is this guy gone??
yes,, no answer
another part of my cursed life,, it's friends,, after 19 years, 4 days and some hours i should expect having alot of friends,, but this part seems to be dark too,, coz i feel that almost all the people to whom i've given my trust(or me trust like the Irish say:D),, i only find afew persons,, maybe it's just conan or maybe conan with some few others,, but y??
in this matter i can't blame them(like any other matter),, this is to be blamed on me,, i never gave them their rights and never dealed with them like i should have done,, let's check the names,, ahmed antar, khalid saleh, khaled al-shazly, ahmed tayel(although he is one of the dearest and closest fellows of mine), mero, mesho, safy, tito, sheri, my dear vampire(ehab i mean), and most recently roza,, i was really such a bad friend to them and nothing but a disgrace to them all,,
donno if life will give me a second chance to hang around with them again or not,,
there are only one who never let me down and never failed me although i wasn't that good friend to him too,, it's conan,, and on the other hand there's someone who really got all my care,, but she insists that she should fail me in every occasion and i'm still lookin' for a reason why,, after all,, it's life!!
about the family life,, it's really pain in the ass and i dun wanna talk about it at all,, i just hate my family
i think there's nothing left to talk about,, or frankly nothing of the left is worth talkin' about,, just as the stuff mentioned above,, i think that such a mean life does not deserve a valuable space on a page of this great facebook,,
I do wish inside that my life ends as soon as possible and i hope that Allah will be satisfied with me,,
whole 19 years of nothing??!!!
such a life!
now i'm 19,, well 19y, 4d and some hours exactly,, when i look into my life, i just see nothing..
over all this time time,, i've achieved zero of all that i dreamed of,, woooow,, sounds funny,, but in fact it's not funny at all,, it's really miserable,, can u believe this?
can u imagine someone spends the first 19 years of his life in nothing at all??
i'm really confused,, like a drunken drunk,, thinkin' y i made my life like this and wounderin' y i should live all this misery,, well after not-too-much thinking i realised that everything i suffer from is caused by.. me,,
yeah,, i do believe that we make our choices and we live exactly as we want to do,, i know this sounds crazy 'cause it's not logical that someone wants to lead a miserable life and it's true,, ah! there's no contrast here,, it doesn't work the way u think in fact,, it's just like when we make our choices we do agree to the kind of life we should live,,
ok,, so back to me,, now,, after whole 19 years, 4 days and some hours i feel really depressed,, 'cause it only takes a small look at my life to realise the mess and failue i cuased to me,, i failed in almost everything i tried to do,, study, chess, friends, the family life and even the playstation(II and one,, haven't yet tried III :D),, this is really disappointing to find urself with zero achievements,, but it's my life,,
when i remember the past and the days that i used to be a fool clever student(as my dignified teatures claimed),,i just wounder why i am here if i am that claimed to be clever,, now i study in a stupid fuckulty that carries the name of the most stupid university u can imagine,, and i'm not even successful in it,, the first year i just passed with low grades of B- and this year i got almost straight F for the first semester(201),, so where is this guy gone??
yes,, no answer
another part of my cursed life,, it's friends,, after 19 years, 4 days and some hours i should expect having alot of friends,, but this part seems to be dark too,, coz i feel that almost all the people to whom i've given my trust(or me trust like the Irish say:D),, i only find afew persons,, maybe it's just conan or maybe conan with some few others,, but y??
in this matter i can't blame them(like any other matter),, this is to be blamed on me,, i never gave them their rights and never dealed with them like i should have done,, let's check the names,, ahmed antar, khalid saleh, khaled al-shazly, ahmed tayel(although he is one of the dearest and closest fellows of mine), mero, mesho, safy, tito, sheri, my dear vampire(ehab i mean), and most recently roza,, i was really such a bad friend to them and nothing but a disgrace to them all,,
donno if life will give me a second chance to hang around with them again or not,,
there are only one who never let me down and never failed me although i wasn't that good friend to him too,, it's conan,, and on the other hand there's someone who really got all my care,, but she insists that she should fail me in every occasion and i'm still lookin' for a reason why,, after all,, it's life!!
about the family life,, it's really pain in the ass and i dun wanna talk about it at all,, i just hate my family
i think there's nothing left to talk about,, or frankly nothing of the left is worth talkin' about,, just as the stuff mentioned above,, i think that such a mean life does not deserve a valuable space on a page of this great facebook,,
I do wish inside that my life ends as soon as possible and i hope that Allah will be satisfied with me,,
18 March 2009 at 12:00
ليست هناك تعليقات:
إرسال تعليق